You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.