my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
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They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
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She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.