i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
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I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
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For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
my god I love twenty year old dicks