New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
