She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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