You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
This is my gift to your gina
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
