I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
