I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
