i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
