Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
