and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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