Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

Did you fuck her?

(212): View more from New York

If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.

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(972): View more from Texas

And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.

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(214): View more from Texas

I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited

(1-214): View more from Texas

I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope

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(770): View more from Georgia

At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(253): View more from Washington

The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?

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(440): View more from Ohio

So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Think he has a gf

(1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me

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