You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
