I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize