you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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