i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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