I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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