I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Did I show you my penis last night?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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