: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
