dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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