two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella