The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though