Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.