he puts the penis in happiness.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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