Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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