That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
