so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
