When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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