how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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