sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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