So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
