No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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