I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
