I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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