Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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