We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
