Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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