She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
