It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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