It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
