I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
