sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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