The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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