i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize