i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
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Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
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i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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