he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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