Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
