Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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