Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
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