her vagina looked like bernie madoff
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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