she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
