So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize