am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
