She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
