Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
