I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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