Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
