there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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